Caffeine, anyone?

I'm sitting in the part-time faculty office at the church college where I teach. I very rarely come in here; most days I arrive just in time for my classes, teach them, and leave. Today there is an important meeting for English faculty, and believe me, if it were not super important, I would not wait around for it. I'm pretty careful about my time. I am not a full-time employee. I do not not earn a full-time salary. This is my choice. I prefer to be primarily an at-home mom, and to teach a couple classes on the side.

But today's meeting is important. It involves a serious change in curriculum for English 101, a class I teach every semester. So I need to stay. I need to wait the 2.5 hours since my last class ended to attend the 90-minute training on this new curriculum, and I don't really mind because it happens so infrequently.

What I do mind is that it's cold outside, and I'm stuck here for 2.5 hours, and nowhere on this campus can I find a real Diet Coke. They have pretend Diet Coke (caffeine free) in the student cafe. It's awful. If you've never tried it, don't even bother. They have more pretend Diet Coke in the bookstore. But nowhere do they have the real thing.

Grrrrrr.

Why not? you may ask. Well there's this crazy belief that permeates LDS culture that caffeine is a violation of our church's health code called the "Word of Wisdom."

It isn't. Plain and simple. No discussion needed.

The Word of Wisdom includes many things people should take into their bodies in order to remain healthy physically and spiritually, along with a few things to avoid: hot drinks (interpreted to mean coffee and non-herbal tea), tobacco, and alcohol. That's it. Not a single word about caffeine.

Why, then, can't I find a real Diet Coke anywhere on campus? Apparently, this cultural myth is so pervasive that it has somehow influenced church policy, even in terms of what drinks are available on the campuses of church-sponsored colleges. We Mormons love our rules, but honestly, do we need to add additional ones that aren't even real?

And everyone seems to know it's not real. At any given time, you will find one employee or another from our school (teachers, support staff, even our dean) braving the windy cold, walking down the long Utah block and across the street to Crown Burger to get an honest Diet Coke.

Let's end the craziness of "rules" that aren't even rules, so others will feel welcome. Because as President Uchtdorf said, "There is room for you in this church."

Meanwhile, I'm off to Crown Burger.