"For the Strength of Everyone": My thoughts on October, 2022 General Conference

It's been three weeks since General Conference, and I'm only now drafting my post about it. Why the delay? Like everyone, I'm busier than I'd like to be. My dream world would include limitless time to read, write, and walk, but alas, household responsibilities and a job worm their way in, and rob me of my precious reading and writing time. (I'm a fanatic about walking; nothing impedes that.) I also needed time to think about what I would say, time to process the talks and focus on what resonated most with me as well as reflect on their significance to the world at this time. This process continues indefinitely, but I think I'm ready to put words to a few of my thoughts.

First, I so loved Elder Bednar's talk on "The Parable of the Wedding Feast." Exegetical discussion of scripture is my favorite, and Elder Bednar did a fabulous job explaining the spiritual truths in this parable. I was mesmerized! To be "chosen" is NOT an exclusive status. We all can "choose to be chosen," as we honor our covenant relationship with God. Hooray!

I was also grateful for Elder Renlund's talk as he reminded us that "with the help of the Holy Ghost, we can transform ourselves into the beings God intends us to be." Consider the power in those words! The covenant relationship that began with Abraham and Sarah and their little family so long ago is now ours. It is personally transformative and the sole means by which we realize our divine lineage and potential. Elder Renlund was also clear about our sacred responsibility to seek and receive personal revelation for our lives as we move through our own covenant journey: "Leaders may guide and give counsel, but choices and decisions belong with us." Woo!

Happiest of all was I, when Elder Uchtdorf announced the revised "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet. Truth be told, I have always disliked that particular document, so much so that I basically ignored it as I raised my teenagers and considered it only slightly when I served in a Young Women's Presidency. The rigid rules and legalism in the former version of the pamphlet did nothing to strengthen my testimony, deepen my conversion, or help me feel yoked to my Savior, and if I felt that put off by the language and tone, imagine how our sweet young men and young women might have felt.

But guys!!! This new one is splendidly different! It doesn’t make choices for us, but focuses on the "doctrine, foundations, and values" to guide our choices. It points our youth not so much to rules but to the only source where they can find true hope....their Savior, Jesus Christ. "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophesies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26).

Time with our youth is limited and so precious. Shoulder shaming our adorable young women and preaching againt tattoos to our awesome young men seem like sad and unproductive uses of that precious time. Surely there are other principles more worthy. What if instead we asked them to reflect upon what living a covenant life might look like, knowing it will look different for each of us? Or what if we asked them to consider what they already know about the character of their Savior and how remembering His goodness and power and love might sustain them in the darker periods of mortality? Or what if we shared how we have used His healing atonement in our own lives to carry us when we couldn't walk on our own?

Surely discussions such as these would strengthen our youth and nurture their conversion process way more than inconsequential, culturally-specific stuff like hemlines, earrings, tank tops, and tattoos.

This revised pamphlet refocuses us on the only true source of strength: Jesus!

And that, my friends, is "For the Strength of Everyone!"

"Stay for the whole feast, even if you're not sure about the broccoli."

It was my favorite line from General Conference.

I didn't get to hear it live. I was at a baby shower for a dear friend on Saturday and then busy all week with teaching and end-of-semester grading. It wasn't until four days ago that I blocked out some time to watch both Saturday sessions. My two favorite talks came one after the other during the Saturday afternoon session: first, Elder Jeffery R. Holland's "Fear Not: Believe Only!" followed by Elder Patrick Kearon's "He is Risen with Healing in His Wings: We Can Be More Than Conquerors."

Yesterday, I substituted for a seminary teacher at Mountain Ridge High School Seminary in Herriman. As I took roll, I asked students to give me their favorite line from General Conference, not their favorite talk, but their favorite line. One cute sophomore mentioned a line from Elder Andersen's talk: "Peacemakers are not passive; they are persuasive in the Savior's way." She explained how she tries to be a peacemaker within her group of friends, not by withdrawing from their drama but by seeking to bring the light of Jesus into the chaos, through her own calmness. Another young man shared a line from Elder Bednar's talk "But We Heeded Them Not" and explained that he relies on the Holy Ghost to bring clarity to his judgment as he seeks to "heed not" various temptations in his life. Are you impressed? Same. Teenagers are so much better than us at zeroing in on the truth, raw and real, and its relevant applications. That's why I jump at the chance to teach seminary whenever I can.

My personal favorite line from Conference weekend came from Elder Holland's talk and became the title of this post. Let me first explain that I hate broccoli. Really, I do. I wish I liked it because it's high on every single list of food that's good for us. But alas, the smell is enough to turn my stomach, and even raw, I think it's gross. So Elder Holland chose the perfect vegetable for his beautiful metaphor. Surprising? Nope. He is a rhetorical genius.

But why this line? Well you see, I plan to stay for the whole feast. I'm not going anywhere. I'm all in. That doesn't mean that I don't ever have questions, doubts, struggles with doctrine, sometimes even struggles with the way our leaders interpret the doctrine. I am human, blessed with the capacity to think, to wonder, to speculate. I study. I pray. I seek answers. I search out revelation for my own life. I don't always receive it, but sometimes I do, and for both outcomes, I am grateful. The latter gives me clear direction, and the former challenges and strengthens my faith.

I am blessed with the opportunity to serve in the Jordan River Temple every Friday afternoon as an ordinance worker. Our shift coordinator always opens our prep meeting with "Welcome to the best day of the week!" Oh, she is so right about that. There is nothing better than being in the temple. A couple weeks ago, I sat in the temple cafeteria during my 20-minute break and listened to a discussion between two older sisters. Addressing the importance of heeding prophetic counsel, one sister commented, "In my family, when the Prophet speaks, the discussion ends." This sweet sister has taught me much in the time I've known her, but this comment left me confused. Troubled even. Because in my family, when the Prophet speaks, that's when the discussion begins! That's when we start the process of pondering and praying to understand what his counsel might look like in our individual lives. It will look different for each of us, because we are different. Sometimes we process the Conference talks by ourselves, in our own ways and in our own timing. But oftentimes, we share our thoughts, either in person or in family text threads. I love learning from my children, hearing their perspectives on the messages. Yes, when the Prophet speaks, the discussion begins!

I'm grateful for a gospel that honors my moral agency, one that doesn't ask me to blindly obey, but to search and study and struggle on my own, with my family, and with my ward family. Wrestling with scripture, as well as with modern-day counsel and revelation, is what leads to increased depth and breadth of understanding. We don't understand everything, and I don't think we ever will in this mortal journey. And that is okay. The process of becoming who we are meant to be is long, and not without hills and valleys, mountains and seas. But be assured; we are promised everything! We are promised all God has, if we will do our best to be faithful and endure. As we study "Come Follow Me" this week, let's look at what the God of Israel promises. Humor the English teacher for a second, and look at the verbs: 

The God of Israel will fight for us (Exodus 14:14), provide for us (Exodus 16:4), heal us (Exodus 15:26), and fill us full (Exodus 16:12). The God of Israel promises to always be with us, and ultimately, to deliver us. Through a covenant with one little family, nations are blessed. Through their faithfulness, the gospel of hope springs forth and floods the earth.

Yes, Elder Holland. I will stay for the whole feast, even if I'm not sure about the broccoli.

"Mom, I just really miss church."

This was part of a conversation I had with Seth on our daily walk around the neighborhood yesterday. And of course, it warmed my very soul. As parents in the church, we long so desperately for our kids to gain testimonies of the gospel, firm ones that will sustain them through all the trials they will face in life. Above all else, we want their happiness, and we know that is best achieved through strong, unwavering faith in their savior. So we try hard to foster that faith.

Our efforts aren't always enough, though. No matter what, it feels like we can never do everything we need to do. When we have several children, we struggle to meet all their diverse needs, and sometimes that's literally impossible. Someone, it seems, is always disappointed. I don't know much about how dads feel, but I understand "mom guilt" to its very core. "Maybe this happened because we don't hold FHE regularly enough. We do it often, but not always." "Or maybe that happened because we suck at that all-important family dinner, the one where everyone sits at a table at the same time and shares his or her day, the one that prevents your children from becoming drug addicts.

Truth is, most parents are doing their absolute best. Most of us don't get up in the morning and plot out how we can ruin our children's lives. Yet every last one of our children could easily find himself in therapy one day because, somewhere along the line, a critical need got missed. There were only two Perfect Parents, and last I heard, even they lost 1/3 of their kids.

That said, two occasions in particular demonstrate that our precious offspring have found their faith, that they no longer rely solely on our testimonies or "borrowed light" as we like to call it. One is when we send them off on missions, and another is when we sit next to them in the temple as they are sealed to their spouses. I've had the privilege of doing the former three times and the latter twice. Hardly anything compares to those experiences.

But Seth's mission didn't end as we expected. After serving just 19 months, his mission was abruptly halted because of COVID-19, when all North American missionaries serving in Paraguay were sent home. Those like Seth, who had served over 18 months, were permanently released. Their missions were over. Seth handled all this very well, much better than I did, but it wasn't (and still isn't) easy. He came home to 14 days of quarantine inside our house, followed by social distancing and sheltering in place. And so it's been for the last seven weeks. He can't hang out with friends. He can't date.

And he can't attend church. Imagine spending 19 months teaching people the importance of church attendance, and then not being able to do that, himself.

Fast forward to today, April 11, 2022. It was May of 2020, when I wrote this post; I just never got around to publishing it. I want it preserved, so I'm gonna post it today, nearly a year late, but probably not share on social media. Suffice it to say that COVID is far better controlled now than it was then, and I'm happy report that Seth, and all of us, are once again able to attend church in person.

You too! Always remember that! As Elder Uchtdorf told us, "There is room for you!"