"Mom, I just really miss church."

This was part of a conversation I had with Seth on our daily walk around the neighborhood yesterday. And of course, it warmed my very soul. As parents in the church, we long so desperately for our kids to gain testimonies of the gospel, firm ones that will sustain them through all the trials they will face in life. Above all else, we want their happiness, and we know that is best achieved through strong, unwavering faith in their savior. So we try hard to foster that faith.

Our efforts aren't always enough, though. No matter what, it feels like we can never do everything we need to do. When we have several children, we struggle to meet all their diverse needs, and sometimes that's literally impossible. Someone, it seems, is always disappointed. I don't know much about how dads feel, but I understand "mom guilt" to its very core. "Maybe this happened because we don't hold FHE regularly enough. We do it often, but not always." "Or maybe that happened because we suck at that all-important family dinner, the one where everyone sits at a table at the same time and shares his or her day, the one that prevents your children from becoming drug addicts.

Truth is, most parents are doing their absolute best. Most of us don't get up in the morning and plot out how we can ruin our children's lives. Yet every last one of our children could easily find himself in therapy one day because, somewhere along the line, a critical need got missed. There were only two Perfect Parents, and last I heard, even they lost 1/3 of their kids.

That said, two occasions in particular demonstrate that our precious offspring have found their faith, that they no longer rely solely on our testimonies or "borrowed light" as we like to call it. One is when we send them off on missions, and another is when we sit next to them in the temple as they are sealed to their spouses. I've had the privilege of doing the former three times and the latter twice. Hardly anything compares to those experiences.

But Seth's mission didn't end as we expected. After serving just 19 months, his mission was abruptly halted because of COVID-19, when all North American missionaries serving in Paraguay were sent home. Those like Seth, who had served over 18 months, were permanently released. Their missions were over. Seth handled all this very well, much better than I did, but it wasn't (and still isn't) easy. He came home to 14 days of quarantine inside our house, followed by social distancing and sheltering in place. And so it's been for the last seven weeks. He can't hang out with friends. He can't date.

And he can't attend church. Imagine spending 19 months teaching people the importance of church attendance, and then not being able to do that, himself.

Fast forward to today, April 11, 2022. It was May of 2020, when I wrote this post; I just never got around to publishing it. I want it preserved, so I'm gonna post it today, nearly a year late, but probably not share on social media. Suffice it to say that COVID is far better controlled now than it was then, and I'm happy report that Seth, and all of us, are once again able to attend church in person.

You too! Always remember that! As Elder Uchtdorf told us, "There is room for you!"